I was just skimming through my old journals and it amazes me at how much I have forgotten about the past years. Moments and emotions that were so strong just a moment ago, have faded away into memory’s long lost past. In one of my entries I wrote about loving my old home so much and never forgetting how beautiful it was. Now, I rarely think about it. I live life so much in the present now, cherishing everything that happens to me and everything that may happen in the future. I seldom look back the way I used to. Life has become more about embracing what I have, than missing what is no longer present.
This is not to say that I have lost complete touch with my past self or my memories. But it does validate why I write. Without those words I pinned to paper, I would never know how I felt back in the day. I wouldn’t remember each day. However normal those days may have seemed at the time, they helped shape the person I am today. So remember to do something that documents your life, who you are. It is an invaluable feeling to go back and relive the situations you endured, to reflect on your growth as a person.
As for my life now, I could not have written it better myself. My family is made of the most amazing people I know. Chapel Hill is incredible and it takes my breath away at random moments in time. Every day I thank God for placing me here, for allowing me to be completely happy with this life He has given me. Even when I don’t understand what’s happening, even when I don’t understand myself, He has everything in control.
Carpe diem, write it down, sing it aloud, draw it NOW.
“You may not call me pretty, you may not think I’m nice, you may never understand me. I think that’s alright.”