Crazy. My last full week at home. We spend our lives as American adolescents waiting until we can finally say that we live on our own, or somewhere new, or any of the like. But I wonder, do we really know what that means? When kids want to go so badly, do they really know why? Are they sure? I love my home, but the excitement of college has always drawn me strongly, and I just couldn’t wait! I am still filled with extreme excitement, but it’s contained within a strong dose of perspective. I know the reality that we all face now, and it is stark and naked in comparison to the things we used to feel and say.
First off, I am super excited about college and starting a new phase of my life and learning new incredible things and meeting all types of different people. I love Chapel Hill, and I look forward to getting to know the city. I can’t wait to see my textbooks, because I just know I’m going to love my classes. I’m most looking forward to…all of them! Can’t decide which one I like most.
I want to spend this week however, enjoying home, my parents, and my room. I want to soak in every moment of this final week. I know I’m coming back, that this is not some “see you in one year to indefinitely” type of move, but it is a move nonetheless. My life will take on a new routine and we will all have our own lives to lead, however intermingled with each other by love and blood. I love my family and I know I will love my friends (because I do already) and this Tarheel Fam will grow stronger each and every day we walk those bricks to class.
There is a particular scripture in Proverbs that I read the other day, one that struck a chord with me (as many of them did) regarding college and education in general: “Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and getteth understanding.” I know that this should primarily be used in regards to the Word and finding out more about God and gaining spiritual understanding. I also think it shows the importance of obtaining an education, of learning from the people around you, from your experiences. Will education alone make you happy? No, of course not. But it is the start to improving your perception of the world. It’s the beginning of enjoying your life and the world you live in simply because you understand more about it. That is why one cannot be sad when going off to college. There will be mixed emotions and apprehensive times, but we must not fear stepping out into the bold world that calls for us, that needs us, that will embrace us as much as it will push back.
I was hoping that words would just pour out of me tonight, about the transition and my life and whatnot. I guess this is not the time for me to go back and begin reminiscing over my life story. But there are some thoughts coming from this keyboard and onto the page. I think the words aren’t coming because I don’t really believe I am here and all of this is happening. Somewhere in the back of my mind (and the forefront too) I know what is about to take place, but somewhere in the middle I still feel as if this is somewhere down the long windy road. But hey, life is a melting pot of emotions. Sometimes what surprises us most are the times we don’t feel anything at all. Or, at least not what we expected ourselves to feel. I am not scared or sad. I am happy, I am content, I am thankful, and I am blessed. I sometimes want more than I need, but I have all I need because I have Him, and my family and my Tarheel Fam. What more could a girl like me ask for? I have been given more things in this world than I could ever repay. My prayers have been answered and I am completely happy. Life could not be greater than it is today. The sky is not the limit, it’s just the beginning of the dream. I’m going, for the top of the moon.
“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Do not be afraid.” – Frederick Buechner